You know one of those days when everything seems to be going wrong even when it's not?
I'm having one of those. A very strange product however came out of this, I wrote a very strange story and recorded it. You can hear it on my tumblr account - Audio Blog (The LaffyTaffy)
I was walking, in a field, and then all of a sudden I saw a marble the size of a hot air balloon, which then floated up into the sky and I stared amazed at this strange thing that was happening right before my eyes. It was incredible. I tried to fly after it but I couldn't as I had no wings and indeed if I had had a camera I would have taken pictures or filmed it. "Whatever is that?", My friend asked. In my awe at this magnificent event I'd forgotten that she was there, "I have no idea. I think it was a marble floating into the sky," I replied. "But, but that is impossible, surely the density of it would have kept it on the ground if it were a marble!" .... I didn't know what to say. And then I woke up. I went to get my breakfast, which was coco pops - not real coco pops, the cheap kind, also known as chocko snaps. I watched as the milk I'd poured in slowly became chocolatey and brown. It looked so delicious. All of a sudden, I heard a crack. It was the bowl - it was falling into tiny little pieces! I began to panic as all the milk poured out onto my kitchen floor. The milk flooded the kitchen. It came all the way up to my knees. "How strange!", I thought, "The bowl must have been a tardis like container to have held this much milk!" It was very odd, I couldn't remember pouring this much milk into the bowl. Soon I was swimming around in the milk, wondering what I should do about this dilemma - then I had an epiphany! Of course! It was chocolatey milk, I could drink it. So I began to slurp and it was nearly down to the floor when - I woke up. It turned out that I had never woken up in the first place! I got out of bed, the floor was really cold on my bare feet. I thought that this was quite weird as my house had underfloor heating… As I stood up, I slipped and fell. I looked down to realise that my laminate flooring had been coated in a thick layer of ice. I slid out of my room and down the stairs. I got out my emergency ice skates, which I'd left in the bathroom, just in case. I knew what had caused this - I had left the fridge freezer open again! "Silly me!, I thought, as I skated into the kitchen. As I was skating, I found that I couldn't stop, and I skated right into my ladle cupboard. A tin opener fell off of the shelf and hit me on the head. "What is THIS doing in here?!" I thought, outraged, "Tin openers do not belong in a ladle cupboard." I suddenly realised that I was standing in my ladle cupboard, and I was sure that it wasn't this large the last time that I'd been in it. I scraped back the laydles on either side of me and they jangled quite loudly. And what I saw, was the back of the ladle cupboard. But there was something odd about this. There was a yellow button with a smiley face on it at the back of it. "Ooo. What does this button do?, I wondered. I pressed it, and there was a noise so loud; it was much louder than the jangling of the laydles. Someone had planted a bomb in the back of my ladle cupboard, I realised, as my arms and legs ejected from my body and my torso and head flew across the kitchen in all different directions. Then I woke up. Of course, it had only been a dream, I would never put a tin opener in my ladle cupboard. As soon as I got out of bed, I checked my ladle cupboard just to make sure I had not misplaced any of my tin openers. I thought, I feel like going to college today! So I skipped to the bus stop. Hmm, how weird. It was sunny outside. This is England, “Oh, this must be another dream,” I thought. However, I went to college and everything seemed normal. “Ugh, oh no. I have German with Helga Botsworth today! So boring.” I went to the class anyway. She asked me if I had done my 2000 word essay on narrative theory, in German, not English of course! I hadn’t, so I quickly made up an excuse. “My hedgehog ate it.” This however, did not convince her. She began to yell at me, so I became angry and took my pen and stabbed her with it several times. Once in the eye, once through the heart and once up the nose. This was not enough. She was still yelling, so I stabbed her through the belly button. She keeled over and died. “What have I done?” I thought, worried. What a waste of a brand new pen. Oh well! It’s only a dream after all. An hour later, I am being interrogated by a policeman. I insist that this is only a dream and everything will be back to normal soon. “But it isn’t a dream. This is reality, Cindy.” He tried to tell me. However I was sure that it was a dream! “Cindy, I suggest that you pinch yourself.” So I did. I pinched myself as hard as I could. I was still in the police station. Sh*ttttttttttttttttttt!
I apologise for the lack of paragraphs and some incorrect punctuation, but it hurts my eyes if I look at it too long.
Anyways, you know when you feel like someone is rubbing something in and you're in that bad mood? It angers me so much, also when I feel like they're telling me what to do at the same time and making it sound like they have it really bad when they don't? I felt like that today! Sorry for being depressing, I just needed to get it out. Oh yeah, and worst of all, my Dad put cheese on my pasta! D:
I HATE CHEESE
But I ate it anyway. Then I had to sit in the car for an hour and fifteen minutes, listening to The Smiths. You know? That band that has songs called 'What difference does it make?' and 'Heaven knows I'm miserable now'. Today is the kind of day when I need dubstep! Or happy hardcore!
On top of everything else I feel extremely fat today.
Some of the good things from today were that I got to see my Dad's kittens for the first time, they didn't like me but they were cute. We went on a very long walk around a nature reserve and got lost, but got to see two little deer! We also saw loads and loads of Red Kites, which are a really awesome bird of prey. I might upload pictures at some point if I can be bothered!
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
