Why do I have to be the jealous type? So irritating. I really don't want to be either.
All that needs to happen is I have to see a girl say something to him on facebook or whatever and then I'm fuming!
I guess having divorced parents doesn't really help, I mean they got divorced because of an affair after like 17 years of marriage. It doesn't really help with the whole 'he's talking to a really pretty girl' thing. :|
It's pathetic though ._. Wish I could snap out of it.
Sunday 29 May 2011
Job hunting.
I don't even know how many jobs I have applied to now. All of them have failed.
Even a simple one-off painting job I didn't get a reply for! All this and mum suddenly says "At least you're not relying on the money". I guess that's true but I'm expected to get through a whole month paying for like everything with my £20 of pocket money. This means that I really struggle to save because as soon as I start I get invited to a meal out or something, it's really crap! And when mum would normally pay for something, if she knows that I have money she'll just say 'Well you have money don't you?'. At least when I didn't get pocket money she paid for more things... Still couldn't really save up though. I can never save up till Christmas thanks to having my birthday on Christmas Eve!
I applied to a job recently and was really happy when I didn't get a rejection email. But yeah, it turns out they just were never going to get back to me and give the job to someone else. So I've applied to several others. I HAVE taken my CV into several shops but I failed epically due to a lot of stores saying "No sorry, we only do applications online now."
I appreciate that they have loads of people to get back to and stuff, but it just sort of crushes you when you get rejected even by places like Pizza Hut, McDonald's and KFC. I would've applied to Burger King, but yeah that failed because it said to find Burger Kings nearby by typing in my postcode. When I pressed enter it literally brought me to a field on google maps. A field. One green arrow pointing to a field. So yeah, I didn't really know what to do next to be honest. I've given my CV in to an agency and they said they'd get back to me as soon as possible, it's been a week since I gave that in. Somehow I don't think I'm ever going to get a job. You'd think there'd be plenty of jobs up for grabs by now seeing as it's going to be the summer holidays soon...
Even a simple one-off painting job I didn't get a reply for! All this and mum suddenly says "At least you're not relying on the money". I guess that's true but I'm expected to get through a whole month paying for like everything with my £20 of pocket money. This means that I really struggle to save because as soon as I start I get invited to a meal out or something, it's really crap! And when mum would normally pay for something, if she knows that I have money she'll just say 'Well you have money don't you?'. At least when I didn't get pocket money she paid for more things... Still couldn't really save up though. I can never save up till Christmas thanks to having my birthday on Christmas Eve!
I applied to a job recently and was really happy when I didn't get a rejection email. But yeah, it turns out they just were never going to get back to me and give the job to someone else. So I've applied to several others. I HAVE taken my CV into several shops but I failed epically due to a lot of stores saying "No sorry, we only do applications online now."
I appreciate that they have loads of people to get back to and stuff, but it just sort of crushes you when you get rejected even by places like Pizza Hut, McDonald's and KFC. I would've applied to Burger King, but yeah that failed because it said to find Burger Kings nearby by typing in my postcode. When I pressed enter it literally brought me to a field on google maps. A field. One green arrow pointing to a field. So yeah, I didn't really know what to do next to be honest. I've given my CV in to an agency and they said they'd get back to me as soon as possible, it's been a week since I gave that in. Somehow I don't think I'm ever going to get a job. You'd think there'd be plenty of jobs up for grabs by now seeing as it's going to be the summer holidays soon...
:/
When people are in bad moods I immediately pick up on it and I normally end up being in a worse mood than them. This is one reason why I get so grumpy all the time. The worst bad mood to affect me is the one where the person barely talks. Here I am again talking about something negative... *sigh*
Tuesday 3 May 2011
Ok...
So now I know exactly what is bringing me down.
Every time I try applying for a job I either don't get a reply or I get rejected instantly, my parents constantly say, "Oh well let me look at your CV" But the thing is, they don't even have time to look at it. I could email it or hand it to them a million times and they wouldn't get around to reading it!
I apply with all the answers that I think the employer will want to hear.
I don't have any work experience that is useful to me in any way. Yes, I worked at a kennels for a week, walking dogs, but obviously that gets you nowhere if you are applying to be a cashier, or to work waiting tables...
The only advice I get given is "hand out your CV to as many places as possible." - Yeah, that's more easily said than done. Especially when your parents complain about not being able to afford printer ink, and then you can't afford printer credit for college.
Then, summer approaches. Your parents and your grandparents start pressuring you to get a job. All it does is cause stress. It's like they haven't noticed that I've been looking for a job since Christmas.
Every time I try applying for a job I either don't get a reply or I get rejected instantly, my parents constantly say, "Oh well let me look at your CV" But the thing is, they don't even have time to look at it. I could email it or hand it to them a million times and they wouldn't get around to reading it!
I apply with all the answers that I think the employer will want to hear.
I don't have any work experience that is useful to me in any way. Yes, I worked at a kennels for a week, walking dogs, but obviously that gets you nowhere if you are applying to be a cashier, or to work waiting tables...
The only advice I get given is "hand out your CV to as many places as possible." - Yeah, that's more easily said than done. Especially when your parents complain about not being able to afford printer ink, and then you can't afford printer credit for college.
Then, summer approaches. Your parents and your grandparents start pressuring you to get a job. All it does is cause stress. It's like they haven't noticed that I've been looking for a job since Christmas.
Yay!
I feel much better today. Sleep... Or should I say being awake for most of the night for no real reason! I think it must've been the weather bringing me down. And worrying about my mock exam results, I am so relaxed now. Not relaxed enough to not revise or anything but relaxed enough to get rid of the feeling in my stomach! Such a relief!
So nice to not write a negative blog post.
Also, when I went into my brother's room to use his inhaler at 3:30am, he had his eyes wide open and said, "Mum, flintstones, RYAN JUST BUY IT!"
So I am really wondering what he was dreaming about.
Byeeeeeeeeeeee ^.^
So nice to not write a negative blog post.
Also, when I went into my brother's room to use his inhaler at 3:30am, he had his eyes wide open and said, "Mum, flintstones, RYAN JUST BUY IT!"
So I am really wondering what he was dreaming about.
Byeeeeeeeeeeee ^.^
Monday 2 May 2011
._.
Lately I feel like I'm just radiating negativity. I want to go hide in a hole somewhere, seriously.
But it's like I'm constantly seeing the glass as half empty, no matter how hard I try I feel as if I'm not good enough. There are so many things that make me happy in life but they tend to have two sides, and one of them brings me down. I'm so worried about everything. I feel like I'm ruining everyone's good day. It's not nice. I guess I just decided to write it on this depressing blog to 'let it out', but to be honest it hasn't really helped... I don't know maybe I should just see if I feel the same tomorrow?
But it's like I'm constantly seeing the glass as half empty, no matter how hard I try I feel as if I'm not good enough. There are so many things that make me happy in life but they tend to have two sides, and one of them brings me down. I'm so worried about everything. I feel like I'm ruining everyone's good day. It's not nice. I guess I just decided to write it on this depressing blog to 'let it out', but to be honest it hasn't really helped... I don't know maybe I should just see if I feel the same tomorrow?
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